这是我们这周在Paramount的第三次会议了 It's our third meeting at Paramount in a week.
很不错 Pretty impressive.
嗯哼 Mm-hmm.
我打赌他们会和我们讨论接下来的工作 Bet they want to talk to us about "next steps."
-嗯 -比如市场营销 - Mm.- You know, marketing.
人物周边 Uh, action figures.
续签 之类的事情 Sequel ideas. Things like that.
我打赌他们会跟我们商量剧本 I bet they want to talk to us about
然后他们也会在我们的剧本上 the script that we wrote,and maybe give us some notes
给我们一些建议 on the script that we wrote
他们知道Melissa MaCarthy不会参与今天的会议 Well, they know Melissa McCarthy's not coming to the meeting,
但他们还想是想继续 所以... and they still want to have it, so…
我们要发财啦 We're gonna be so rich!
你还真是个奇葩 What a grotesque human being you are.
我的天 Oh, my God.
Alison Janney：饰演《极品老妈》中的逗比老妈
她是Alison Janney It's Allison Janney.
你好 Hello.
要是她能演我们的电影 那就太棒了 She'd be great in our movie, huh?
但是这不会很奇怪吗 她之前演了《白宫风云》 Is that weird, though, 'cause she was on "The West Wing,"
我们的电影是在白宫的 and ours is in the White House?
-嘘 嘘 -不 不奇怪 - Shh, shh...- No, it's not weird.
她就适合演这种类型的 It's perfect. It's typecasting. It's great.
我听得到你们在说什么 I can hear you.
我就站在这里 I'm right here.
-问她 -你去问她 - Just ask her.- You ask her.
快去 问问她 -她就在这 - Just ask her. Ask her!- She's right here.
呃 Allison Janney 我们写了一部电影 Uh, Allison Janney, we wrote a movie
叫《第一女先生》 called "Mr. First Lady,"
这个人是个男的 but the first lady is a man.
-呃 -对吧 - Ooh...- Right?
我们要让她影响深刻 We should give her the elevator pitch.
正好我们在电梯里 We're in an actual elevator.
不了 不了 Please... don't.
让我快速的说说... Let me just really...real quick, okay...
她说了不要 She just said please don't.
好吧 那我就跟你说一下片名 Okay, let me just tell you the title.
我已经说过片名了啊 I already said the title.
这是个经典的格格不入的故事 It's a classic fish-out-of-water story.
你肯定看过很多类似的 You've seen it a million times.
观众都很喜欢 That's always fun for the moviegoer, isn't it?
没错 Yeah.
我们马上就要到了 We're almost at our floor.
好吧 那么Alice Okay, so Alice...
哇 -其实我叫Allison - Whoa!- Actually, my name is Allison.
噢 对 对 对 Right, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
有一个词可以恰好概括全部的内容 There's a word that'll just put this all in...
好的 好的 -把你的手拿走 - Okay, okay.- Take your hands off me!
我很抱歉 I'm... sorry.
-嗯 -好吧 - Yeah.- Okay.
祝你好运 听上去很好玩或者说很戏剧性或者 Good luck, it sounds very funny or dramatic or...
我相信我会在奥斯卡颁奖典礼上看到你的 I'm sure I'll see you at the Oscars.
等等 You know what?
我们能留一下你的联系方式吗 Can we maybe get your contact information
到时候我们把剧本给你发过去 so we can send you a script?
没问题 你有笔吗 Oh, absolutely. Do you have a pen?
-你有吗 -有的 - Uh... do you have a pen?- Uh, yes.
笔在哪 你有吗 Where's a pen? Do you have a pen?
没有笔 你在逗我 Don't have a pen. Well,thanks for playin'.
我们错失了一个很棒的开端 Well, we're off to a great start.
我找到了 I did have a pen.
所以 Melissa McCarthy 怎么样了 So... how's your friend Melissa McCarthy?
她还好 Oh, she's so good.
她让我代她跟你们打声招呼 She's great, yep. She says hello.
你最近跟她联系过吗 Oh, you've spoken to her recently?
对啊 好朋友经常联系 Oh, yeah, I mean... Good friends talk all the time.
说说这个 说说那个 偶尔问候问候 check in, we speak, yeah, how you doing, good, what's up
我上次就想跟她聊一下了 You know, I wanted to speak to her
就是你们说要把她带来的那次 You know, when you brought her here for that meeting.
但是我没碰到她 But I must have missed her.
我也不知道为什么 I don't know how. I mean, I, uh,
我一直在电梯旁边 was right there by the elevator the whole time.
我等啊等 I mean, I waited and waited.
继续等 And waited some more.
Gavin等了很久 Gavin waited a very long time.
我估计Melissa是走楼梯上来的 Well, I'm sure Melissa just, uh,take the stairs,you know
-呃 -对 没错 - Um...- Oh, right, yeah!
你是说最西面的楼梯 吗 You mean, uh, the stairs in the far west of the building?
大概是的 Melissa会这样做 Probably, that sounds like Melissa.
或者你说的是 Or do you mean the stairs...
遥远的...东部楼梯 in... the far east?
这张照片 This picture was taken
是你说Melissa在洗手间的同一天拍的 on the same day that you said Melissa was in the bathroom.
我说的是在新加坡的洗手间 I... meant the bathroom in Singapore.
因为新加坡 Because of the food
的食物 in Singapore is...
油腻的蛋卷 Oily egg rolls and...
还有寿司 And sushi and...
很油 Greasy sushi.
闭嘴吧 Oh, shut up!
闭嘴吧 闭嘴吧 闭嘴吧 God, shut up, shut up, shut up!
闭上你们的嘴 You just shut up!
你们意识到做了什么吗 Do you know what you did?
-额 -简直太虚假了 - Uh...- It's rhetorical!
闭嘴 收起你们愚蠢的表情 Shut up! Just shut your stupid faces up!
你们...浪费了我的时间 You... wasted my time.
时间对Gavin来说特别重要 Time is very important to Gavin.
时间比黄金还珍贵 Time... is more precious than gold.
你们为一个儿童卡通写剧本 对吧 You guys write on a kids' cartoon, right?
对 叫《放屁人》 Yes, "The Fartlemans."
你们喜欢你们的工作吗 And do you like your jobs?
-并不 -嗯...-不 - Not really.- Well... - No.
哦... Ohh...
太好了 So glad!
因为那将会是你们几个浑圆 Because that is the only job
能得到的唯一工作 you shit-faces will ever have!
你们三个不能再在这个城市工作了 永远不能 The three of you will never work in this town, ever again.
我们要摧毁你们 We're gonna destroy you.
我们有那样做的能力 We have the power to do that.
并且我不在乎那会花费多少时间 And I don't care how much time it takes.
时间对我来说一文不值 Time means nothing to me!
无名之辈.
等等 他叫你们混圆 Wait, he called you shit-faces?
我觉得他想说混球 但他是外国人 I think he meant shit-heads, but he's foreign,
翻译:小V 会画画的搬砖工
或许在他们国家 人们都那样说 so maybe that's how they say it over there.
额 Melissa对这件事作何反应 Oof. What did Melissa say after you told her?
翻译: 奶昔尼洛 Amy
我们还没告诉她 We haven't told her.
我们甚至都没告诉她我们撒谎了 We never even told her that we lied
翻译: Echo DAWN
还说她会在我们的电影里 and said she was gonna be in our movie in the first place.
哇哦 这就糟糕了 Wow, guys, this is bad.
-是吗 -是的 - Really?- Yes!
这是好莱坞 人们消息灵通 This is Hollywood. People talk.
校对：格扁
每个人都会知道这件事的 Everyone will find out about this.
我的意思是 你们的事业 大概已经无可救药了 I mean, your careers are probably damaged beyond repair.
你们至少 I mean, at the very least,
从人性的角度来说 on a human level,
后期：大 颖
应该试着挽回你们和Melissa的友情 at least try to salvage your friendship with Melissa.
或许我可以给她发短信 Maybe I text her.
对吧 我可以这样说 Right? I could say something like,
"嗨 嗯 Melissa 发生了件疯狂的事" "Hey! Uh, Melissa, this crazy thing happened."
是的 说那是个误会 Yeah, it was a mix-up.
而且它绝无恶意 And it... it was innocent.
这种事有可能发生在任何人身上 It could have happened to anybody.
局面混乱 这个词对吗 Snafu! Is that a word? Like...
不 你们能不能 请你们能不能 No, can you just...can you please just...
停下来 Just stop, please.
冷静一下 Just for one second.
让我们先想想 Let's just think...
别再做什么冲动的事 and not do yet another dumb, impulsive thing.
-你能解决这件事么 -啊哦 - Could you fix it?- Oh.
打电话给Gavin Just call up Gavin.
去摆平这件事 你认识他 Smooth it all out. You know him.
哦 天哪 不 我不能和这种事 Oh, God, no, I can't be associated
扯上关系 with something like this.
我下周要给他看一个剧本 I'm taking a script out next week.
我不想让Gavin觉得我是个骗子 I don't want Gavin thinking I'm a liar,
就因为我是你们的"朋友" because I'm, you know,"friends" with you guys.
你干嘛做那个手势 Why'd you do that?
糟糕 我得走了 Oop! I gotta go.
已经8点了 It is 8:00,
我在池座有个即兴表演 and I've got an improv show at The Groundlings.
好吧 别告诉池座里的任何人 Okay, just don't tell anyone at The Groundlings
这件事 好吗 about this, okay?
求你了 至少别告诉那些有名的人 Please. At least not the famous ones.
他们早晚会知道 They're gonna find out.
我是说 Gavin Resic会确保 I mean, Gavin Resic is gonna make sure
所有人都知道 everyone finds out.
不管怎样 祝你们晚安 Anyway, have a good night.
再见 Bye-ee!
目前为止什么都没发生 Well, nothing yet.
我不停地刷新页面 然而没看到 I keep refreshing Deadline,and I'm not seeing anything
任何类似"别和Hugh,Larry和Rachel工作"的消息 about "do not work with Hugh, Larry, and Rachel."
你真的认为 Oh, you really think
会有个正式的公告 there's gonna be an announcement in the trades?
“别和下边这三个你听都没听过的人 "Do not work with the following three people
一起工作" you've never heard of"?
电脑卡死了 Computer froze.
我得重启 I gotta restart.
这会费点时间 This'll take a while.
所以...你们俩昨天晚上干什么了 So... what'd you guys get into last night, huh?
滚床单了么 Anyone get laid?
Dorf 怎么样 Dorf, huh?
昨晚有艳遇么 You get laid last night?
我已经结婚了 Uh, I'm married.
嘿 瞧瞧 Ooh, hoo hoo. Look at that.
Dorf想什么时候来一发都可以 不是吗 So Dorf gets it any time he wants it, huh?
是啊 婚姻就是你说的那样 Yes, that's exactly how marriage works.
你呢 Davidson 你是单身狗吧 What about you, Davidson? Single guy, huh?
你昨晚爽过了么 You get any of that punani last night, huh?
你和Rachel上过床么 Hey... have you ever had sex with Rachel?
所有做动画的都想和Rachel上床 All the animators want to have sex with Rachel.
看看Ken Choi给我画了什么 Look at what Ken Choi drew me.
瞧瞧这个 Look at this.
噢... Oh...
我的天哪 My God.
你们绝对不会相信 Ugh... you will not believe
今天早上我遇上了什么事 what happened to me this morning.
你在说这个么 Was it this?
这画的是我吗 Is this supposed to be me?
我会把它扔掉的 I'll throw it away.
对 让我把它拿过来... 然后扔掉 Yeah, I'll just take...uh, I'll just throw it away.
-让让 -好 - Scoot.- Yeah.
网上有消息了么 Nothing on Deadline yet?
没 我还在刷新 No, I'm refreshing it.
早上好 《放屁人》团队 Mornin', Team Fartleman.
-嗨-嗨 - Hey.- Hey.
我刚听到一些跟你们仨有关的 I just heard something very interesting
非常有意思的事 about the three of you.
你们之后很长一段时间 Looks like you three are gonna be in the kids' business
大概都会负责儿童作品了 for a long, long time.
喔 我的天吶 Oh, my God.
你怎么知道的 How did you hear?
跟Nickelodeon谈的啊 Talked to Nickelodeon.
我们在2-6岁的小男生間可是超高人气 We're number one with boys two to six.
我想是时候把《放屁人》 I think it was moving "The Fartlemans"
摆到《香蕉大裤衩》之前啦 in front of "Banana Pants."
这可是你的点子喔 Allen And that was your idea, Allen!
是吗 正是在下 Was it? Yes it waaas!
嘿伙计们 我们该好好庆祝下 Hey, we should celebrate, guys.
说真的 如果我们慢慢步上轨道 Seriously, if we keep this up,
那我们此后的工作生涯 we're gonna be pleasing two-to six-year-old boys
全都在取悦那些2-6岁的小鬼头啰 for the rest of our careers.
喔 好了 拉回来 Oh, okay. We are back.
这是第306集"Skippy的新狗狗" This is episode 306, "Skippy's New Dog."
到目前为止 超时了34 秒 Right now, we're 34 seconds over,
所以你们几位要决定哪一段剪掉 so these guys have to decide whether to cut the scene
是臭屁太太 where Mrs. Fartleman farts
在亲师会上放屁的部分 at the parent-teacher conference,
还是狗狗拉肚子的桥段 or whether to cut the scene where the dog has diarrhea.
我一点也不羡慕你们喔 伙计 I don't envy you guys.
我们先看拉肚子的部分吧 看看笑果怎样 Let's take a look at diarrhea, see how we feel.
那就来看看拉肚子 Let's look at diarrhea.
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Skippy... Skippy...
把你的狗从浴室弄走 get your dog out of the bathroom.
小心 Watch out!
我们绝不能剪拉肚子这段 不能 We are not losing diarrhea, nope.
嘿 厕所没纸啦 Hey, there's no toilet paper!
真希望Gavin已经从那边离开 I just wish Gavin would get it out there already.
一直在等 我-我受不了再等下去了 It's just the waiting,I-I can't take the waiting!
"来自Ben Falcone的语音留言" 我又调成静音了 "Ben Falcone voice mail." My ringer was off.
为什么你一天到晚都在静音模式 Why is your ringer always off?
因为他老是叫我把铃声关了 'Cause he always tells me to turn my ringer off!
我们有超重要会议 'Cause we had a big meeting.
有史以来最重要 Which we'll never have another one,
所以快打开铃声吧 so just leave it on.
你觉得Gavin Do you think Gavin
会直接打给Ben和Melissa吗 called Ben and Melissa directly?
噢 我的老天 Oh, my God.
我该怎么办 我要听吗 What do I do? Do I listen to it?
别 把手机扔进抽屉然后放把火烧了吧 No, put it in your desk drawer and set it on fire.
好 那我把它删掉 Okay, I'm gonna delete it.
好耶 快删 Delete, yes!
等等 别删掉 拿来 No, don't delete it. Here.
我不想听 I don't wanna listen to it!
嘿 Rachel 我是Ben Hey, Rachel, it's Ben!
收到请回电 我们得谈谈 Give me a call. We gotta talk.
好样的 -喔天吶 - Great.- Oh, God.
我要回电吗 Do I call?
好啊 来 咱们打给他 Yeah, call him. Let's do it.
呃 能给你打吗 Well, can you call?
嗯 他是打给你 我来回的话很奇怪吧 Well, he called you. It'd be weird if I call him.
别吼我 Don't yell at me!
你可以用讲的 不用吼我 You can say it without yelling!
我只是...-有点刺耳 I just... It was harsh.
你刚那样有点刺耳 It was a little harsh.
语音信箱 我要留言吗 Got his voice mail.Do I leave a message?
嗯 Yes.
喔老天 他不接电话 一定是气炸了 Oh, my God, he's not picking up, he's so mad.
呃 嘿 Ben 我是Rachel Uh, hey, Ben! It's Rachel.
嗯 我代表Larry跟Hugh一起打给你 Um, calling on behalf of Larry and Hugh.
呃 就是想道个歉 Uh, just to say we're sorry.
我们真的很抱歉 也很羞愧 -Rachel 快挂掉 - We're so sorry and ashamed.- Rachel, hang up.
嘘 -然后 嗯... - Shh.- And, um...
Rachel 挂掉电话 -看 看 看 快看 - Rachel, hang up.- Look, look, look, look!
我真不知道当初我们在想什么 I don't know what we were thinking,
但 呃... -Rachel 把电话挂了 - but, um...- Rachel, hang up the phone.
我们的行径太可怕了 -快看 - Our behavior was horrible.- Look.
呃 嗯 总之我希望你能明白 And, uh, but I hope you can remember
我们是朋友 that we're friends,
过去曾有过美好时光 and we have history together.
只管挂掉 -我们永远... - Just hang up.- And we will always...
信我就对了 信我 信我 Just trust me, trust me, trust me.
你有什么毛病 What is wrong with you?!
看他手上的 快看 Look what he's got, look.
Gavin跟Grace被炒了 Gavin and Grace were fired?
啥 -拿来 - What?- Give it.
给我 给我看一下 Gimme, gimme, gimme that.
呃... Uh...
呃 好莱坞影城 制片主管 Uh, Hollywood studio, film executives,
开发部 什么什么的 development, na-na-na-na-na.
Gavin Resic和Grace Sloane走人了 Gavin Resic and Grace Sloane let go.
这太神奇了 -太神奇了 - This is amazing.- Amazing.
简直疯了 -太神奇啦 - This is crazy!- Amazing!
我们真的逃过一劫 这真是 简直不可思议 This is a bullet dodge! This is... this is incredible!
真是疯了 That's crazy.
我是说 就好像你前一秒还飞高高 I mean, it's like one minute you're up,
下一秒就摔在地上 -碰 - next minute you're down.- Down.
现在他们摔地上 我们起飞了 Now they're down, we're up.
飞高高 -这真是... - Up.- This is...
好了 咱们下一步该怎么做 All right, what's our next move?
我想我们该把Melissa踢掉 她只会制造麻烦 I think we dump Melissa.She was nothing but problems
从头到尾扯后腿 -没错 就这么说定了 - from the beginning.- Yeah, done.
呃 那Mya呢 Uh, what about Mya?
搞不好Mya也想做做电影 Maybe Mya would want to do the movie?
抱Mya Rudolph的大腿狠赚一笔 Get on the Mya Rudolph gravy train.
我喜欢 -不错吧 你怎么不传简讯给她咧 - I like it.- Right? Why don't you text her?
也许你可以发信息给她 你们更要好 Maybe you text her. You're better friends.
对的 由我来说更好 Right, and better coming from me.
女生和女生 Girl-on-girl.
是的 女生和女生 -是吧 - Yes, "girl-on-girl." - Right?
女生之间比较好 -通常是这样 - Girl-on-girl's better. - Always.
难道你忘了你刚才给 Are you forgetting that you just left
Ben发的那个疯癫的信息吗 an insane message on Ben's phone?
我打电话给他 I'm gonna call him.
你打算说什么 闭嘴 - What are you gonna say? - Shut up!
您好 Ben Hey, Ben!
我是Rachel It's Rachel.
嗯 我希望你收到了那条非常有趣的 Um, I hope you just got my very funny
玩闹留言 刚发给你的 joke voice mail that I just left for you.
你在笑对吧 And you're laughing
和我们在这里一样 as much as we are over here
在《放屁人》工作室这里 at "The Fartlemans."
希望你也在这 Wishing you were here.
等下 有电话进来 Hold on one second, someone's calling.
噢 是你 你在呼叫我 Oh, that's you! You're calling.
好的 那我转接电话 Uh, so I am gonna switch over.
但如果你听了第一条信息 But just make sure if you listen to my first message,
一定要确保再听这条信息 that you listen to this one.
这一条更重要 好吗 This one's more important, okay?
还有如果你没听第一条信息 And if you didn't listen to the first message...
Rachel 别说了 Rachel, click over.
别说了 不然你要错过电话了 Click over, you're gonna miss the call.
好吧 等会跟你说 Okay, I'll talk to you in one second.
未接电话 Ben Falcone "Missed call, Ben Falcone."
噢 我的天 -是的 - Oh, my God! - Yes.
因为你没挂断 Because you didn't click over.
能不能不吼我 Can you not yell at me
每隔两秒 every two seconds!
噢 Ben Falcone 语音信息 Oh! "Ben Falcone, voice mail."
嗨 Rach 我是Ben Hey, Rach, it's Ben!
我猜我们在玩电话"捉迷藏" We're playing phone tag, I guess.
嗯 所以 你前些天过来的那晚 Um, so, about when you came over the other night.
很明显 你有个剧本想要给我看 It was obvious that you had a script you wanted to show me,
但是出于某些原因 你没有 but for some reason, you didn't.
还有我猜你肯定觉得很怪异 And I'm guessing you felt weird,
但我想说 认真地 你不该这样 but, I mean, seriously, you shouldn't.
我意思是 你们这群人都是很棒的作家 I mean, you guys are such great writers,
如果你们写了东西 我都会想要去看 and if you wrote something,I always want to see it.
所以 无论如何 我都语无伦次了 So, anyway, I'm rambling now.
但你一有空就给我打个电话 好吗 But just give me a call when you get a second, okay?
等等之类的 就这样 爱你哟 拜拜 Et cetera, et cetera. All right, love you, bye-ee!
啥 What?
对不起了 Mya Rudolph -哇 - I'm sorry, Mya Rudolph. - Wow.
但是煮熟的鸭子就要飞了 But the gravy train is leaving the station.
Melissa在回程的飞机上 And Melissa McCarthy is back on board.
噢 嘟嘟 嘟嘟 Ooh! Toot, toot!
这次 我们要明确且 This time, let's just be transparent
直接 and direct.
明确直接 Transparent and direct.
噢 我的天 你们就是在重复我说的话 Oh, my God, you're just repeating things.
你们两个家伙根本没听 You guys are not even listening.
我们这是为Melissa写的剧本 We wrote the script for Melissa.
是的 -我们想要她来出演 - Right. - We would like her to be in it.
好吗 就这样 Please. That's it.
好的 -嗯 - Yeah. - Yeah!
我们是成年人 -没错 - 'Cause we're adults. - Right.
成年人有话直说 And adults say what they want.
是的 -嘿 - Yes. - Hey!
噢 我的 Oh, my...
我们想要Melissa出演 We want Melissa to be in this thing.
你没必要那么激昂 You don't have to be so aggressive.
冷静 Just calm down.
我们有话直说 We're just gonna be direct.
我很淡定 我只是在尽力 I am calm, I'm just trying
记住我的要点 to get my point across.
她肯定还在亚洲 She's actually still in Asia...
哈喽 嘿 Hello... Hey.
嘿 伙计 对不起 不好意思 Hey, guys, sorry, sorry.
是的 她不在 她星期六回来 Yeah, no, she gets back on Saturday.
她还在亚洲 She's in Asia still, though.
你在给谁打电话 Who you talking to?
Angelina Angelina.
好的 不 他们只是我朋友而已 Yeah, okay. No, these are just my friends.
Angelina Jolie Angelina Jolie.
好吧 那我们星期天再来吧 Yeah. So let's do Sunday.
Angelina Jolie Angelina Jolie.
星期天 星期天 Sunday, Sunday.
噢 我的天 他竟然认识Angelina Jolie Oh, my gosh, he knows Angelina Jolie.
不是那个Angeline It's not that Angelina.
听起来还不错 Angie Sounds good, Angie.
好的 拜 -此刻 Ben - All right, bye. - Now, Ben...
Rachel跟我提及过一瓶很贵的酒 Rachel told me about an expensive wine
你们这些家伙前几晚品尝的 that you guys enjoyed the other night.
你们这群家伙太不厚道了 You guys are so gross.
是他们不厚道 不是我 They are gross. I am not gross.
我不想喝你的任何昂贵的酒 I do not want to drink any of your expensive wine.
我只对你的威士忌感兴趣 I'm only interested in your expensive scotch.
噢 好吧 Ooh. All right.
我想说 这真欺负人 I mean, this is insulting.
一张我的照片都没有 There's zero photos of me.
好吧 Well...
这个打着领结的小丑是谁 Who's this clown in the bowtie?
那是Paul Skidmore That's Paul Skidmore.
Paul Skidmoore是谁 Who's Paul Skidmoore?
你在开玩笑吗 Are you kidding?
他是一个著名的喜剧导演 He's like a really famous comedy director.
他和Melissa导演了《友谊天空》 He directed "The Friendly Skies" with Melissa.
从来没看过 Never saw it.
Larry -嗯哼 Larry... -Mm-hmm?
你注意到这里没有你的照片吗 Are you noticing there's no photos of you?
我保证 这里很快会挂一张你的了 We're gonna get one put up soon, I promise.
不要 你还真是会得了便宜还卖乖 -我都还没注意到 No, you're good with what you have. -I didn't even notice.
噢 好大一杯 Ooh, that's a nice pour.
好吧 Okay.
嗯 让我们先把工作放下 Um, let's get the business part out of the way,
然后就来找点乐子吧 so we can just have some fun.
因为我想看看剧本 好激动 'Cause I wanna see the script. I'm excited.
看完标题你就懂了 You'll get it after you see the title.
第一女先生 "Mr. First Lady."
诶呦 不错哦 真是个好名字 Ooh, that's good. That's a good hook.
噢 有趣 Ooh, that's funny.
是的 是关于美国的第一位男性总统夫人 Yeah, about America's first male first lady.
我们差不多已经有了 Which we almost had.
这样的话 我们的总统 In this, we have the president.
一个聪明又性欲旺盛的女人 She's a smart ball-buster of a woman.
她的丈夫 这位第一夫人 And her husband, the first lady,
是一个傻瓜 is a nitwit.
这是一个很搞笑的喜剧 It's a big comedy.
这就是我们的电梯演讲 There's our elevator pitch.
我只能说 Could I just say,
我真是受宠若惊 I'm so flattered.
嗯 Mm. Hmm?
我真是荣幸 你们会想到我 I'm so flattered that you would think of me
去演这个第一夫人 to play Mr. First Lady.
我是说 我只是 我没有其他的机会 I mean, I just... I don't get many offers
去演别的什么 to act anymore.
大家把Melissa Everybody thinks of Melissa
看作是家庭中的演员 然后 嗯 as the actor in the family, and, um...
然后我 很开心看到她的成就 And I'm... happy for her success.
就好像我永远 不会嫉妒她那样 It's like I would never, like, begrudge her... that.
我们甚至都不是同一类人 And we're not even in the same category,
所以 这根本就不是竞争 so it's not like a competition.
当然 嗯 Of course, um...
事实上你们想让我 Just the fact that you guys thought of me
去扮演这个角色意义重大 to play this role means a lot.
所以 嗯 这真的让人意想不到 So, um, this is very unexpected.
然后 嗯 我很鸡冻 And, uh, very exciting.
是的 你可以的 Yeah, you do it.
嗯 Ben 你知道的 事实上 Um, Ben... you know, actually...
我们是专门为你写的 We wrote it for you.
专门为你写的 We wrote it for you,
我们没敢说出口 and we were afraid to say it,
但是现在我们说了 所以 大家敞开了说 but now we said it, so it's... it's out there,
当我想到的时候 我就是 Ben Falcone and when I think about it, I'm, "Ben Falcone.
他是一个演员 他就是这家里的演员 He's an actor, he's the actor in the family."
我一想到万一你不演这个角色我就很难过 And I get so sad if I think of you not acting.
因为它是 一份礼物 是 Because it's... that's a gift, is...
你 你 你有这个天赋 You... you... you have a gift.
如果你不把它献给世界 分享给世界 And if you don't gift it to the world and share it,
就像 什么 什么 什么 it's like, what... what... what... what... what...
发生了什么 你懂的 如果Ben不演这个角色 what's happening, you know, if Ben's not acting...
谢谢你 Rach Thanks, Rach.
你介意我再多喝一点苏格兰威士忌吗 You mind if I get some more scotch?
不 喝吧 喝吧 No, go ahead, go ahead.
我需要冷静一下 I'm just gonna dig into this.
我能用一下洗手间吗 Can I use your bathroom?
额 当然 外面就是 Uh, sure. The one out there is...
嗯 最好 uh, the best one.
我确实觉得我对此负有部分责任 I do feel like I'm partially to blame for that.
只有部分 Partially?
你想让我伤害他吗 Did you want me to hurt his feelings?
我的意思是 我应该说什么 I mean, what was I supposed to say?
从字面上看 我没有什么可说的 Literally, there was nothing else I could say.
呃 怎样 Uh, how 'bout, uh,
Ben 有点尴尬 "Ben... this is awkward,
但是 事实上 我们是为了 Melissa写的 but, actually, we wrote this for Melissa."
没有人说出来 No one talks like that.
我觉得这还好 I actually think this is good.
我确实认为这是值得庆祝的理由 I do, I think this is actually reason to celebrate.
噢 Oh!
我是说 Ben是什么大家都知道 I mean, Ben's a known commodity.
他是个演员 He's an actor.
他演过 呃 He's acted in, um...
《乔伊》 "Joey."
他从《乔伊》开始显现身手 He's done stuff since "Joey."
是吗 -还有《伴娘》 Right? -"Bridesmaids."
他是《伴娘》的空军元帅 He was the air marshal in "Bridesmaids."
是的 他在里面表现不错 Yes, and he was wonderful in that.
他完全入戏了 He lost himself in the role.
他们说 他演的过火了 He chewed the scenery, as they say.
那可不是好事 That's not a good thing.
他从来没有演的过火 He never chews the scenery.
又这一套 -那就是他 他的特色 There you go. -That's his thing. That's his brand.
也许如果Ben在里面 Maybe if Ben's in it,
Melissa也会想进去 Melissa will want to be in it.
因为他们总是在一起工作 'Cause they work together all the time,
这样 就不是我们来 and then this way, instead of us, like,
暗示了 suggesting it,
Melissa就会被很自然的 Melissa will just sort of be
被骗去做这种事了 naturally tricked into doing it.
骗 Tricked?!
所以 你觉得 So... so it's not bad enough
我们对派拉蒙疯狂的高管撒了谎 还不是最糟糕的咯 that we lied to some insane executive at Paramount,
现在我们在对Ben撒谎 now we're lying to Ben?
谁是我们的朋友 Who is our friend.
然后利用他和我们的朋友 And exploiting the fact that he's married
Melissa McCarthy结婚的事实 to Melissa McCarthy, who is also our friend.
我们不是利用Ben We're not exploiting Ben.
为什么我们不是 How are we not?
呃 很简单 Uh, it's very simple.
好 Ben就是一块芝士 Okay, Ben is the cheese.
好吧 这剧本是捕鼠器 Okay, the script is the trap.
Melissa就是那只老鼠 And Melissa is the rat.
是吧 来吧 Melissa Right? Come here, Melissa...
我喜欢这个阴谋 I like this scheme.
"阴谋""老鼠" 你听听自己都说了些什么 "Scheme"! "Rat"! Do you hear yourselves?
我要走了 I gotta go.
高调离开吧 我们解决了 Leave on a high note. We figured it out.
我以为我们在庆祝 I thought we were celebrating.
Jen一直在给我发短信 Jen's been texting me.
我要去给孩子们买些咳嗽药 I gotta go pick up cough medicine for the boys.
我很肯定我要走进一个 I'm sure I'm walking into an unpleasant,
气氛消沉 充满细菌的噩梦 germ-filled nightmare.
呃 我们没事了吧 我们平分乐买吧 Uh, we're good here? We're all square?
你一点钱都没给 You didn't put in any money.
好吧 嗯 明天见 Okay, well, I'll see you tomorrow.
那么 你想要再来一杯吗 So... do you wanna get another one,
还是你要回家找Lois or do you gotta get home to Lois?
不 她今晚和她爸一起 No, she's with her dad tonight.
我超级自由的 So I'm free as a bird.
你呢 你要回家找Pat吗 How 'bout you, do you have to get home to Pat?
噢我那个40岁的室友吗 Oh, my 40-year-old roommate?
我想我应该要 但是 I guess I probably should, but...
偶尔让他独立点 maybe it's good for him to be independent
也许对他比较好 every once in a while.
那 红酒 Uh, red wine?
还是 Or...
来点烈酒 Should we do shots?
什么啊 我们初中生吗 Oh, what are we, in seventh grade?
初中生 Seventh grade?
你哪里上的学啊 Where'd you go to school?
小混混上的那种 The school of hard knocks.
噢 呃 不了 我要红酒 Oh. Um... no, I'll have a red wine.
-不错 -好吧 - That's good.- Okay.
不 我要杯马丁尼 No, I'll have a martini!
呃 一杯马丁尼 还有 Uh, a martini. And...
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噢 Ohh!